i just feel like fucking crying, i feel like im angry at the whole world for no apparent reason! i dont know what the fuck is going on in my head its like its BLANK!!

Fear?...

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what is fear? that is a hard question, everyone has different types of fears, things or people they are scared of.

but its the pain you feel in your heart when you thought you knew someone, when you knew they would not ever hurt you... but what happens when that one person that you feel so much for comes along and does all you ever thought he would not do? how would you feel? how would you describe this kind of fear. 

being scared of you makes me scared of being with you, every time you raise your hand ill flinch because of the past, because i will be scared... do i want that?

DO I REALLY?

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6 Months..

22nd October 2011

These months flew by, they went so quick that I don't even know how its possible. I've never cared about a guy as much as I care about you.

thinking about you...

i think about you in my sleep, i think about you when i wake up, i think about you before i go sleep, i think about you when i'am at college, and i just cant stop thinking about you. i look back at the memories, at the times we'd lay and stare in each others eyes. i can feel it in my heart i can feel it in my bones, i can feel the tingles when you touch me. i feel like when i'am with you i can forget about all the problems!

baby your the apple of my eye, yeah we argue sometimes, but we'll always find a way to sort it out and it shows how much we care about each other because if we didn't we wouldn't care if we were upset or annoyed with each other.

when your around i feel like my world is brighter then ever, my heart skims a beat. But when you leave my world darkens all the problems come back, i cant stop thinking about you, what your doing, are you at home? are you thinking about me? i just cant get you out of my head, i don't know what it would be like without you and trust me i don't want to find out.

i'd be lost, it would be like leaving middle school and going high school, you would be lost, you would have to find your way around all over again, from the start, everything will be new. but i don't want anything new. i like the way things are now and i don't ever want it to change.

i'am writing this whilst thinking about you (again), you've just left a few hours ago but i already miss you, just thinking about the fact that i'm going to have to fall asleep with out you makes my heart slow down. baby i love you so much!

Easter

Boring, Boring, Boring!

Easter Sunday at my aunties house and Monday at our house! lucky tomorrow is free! Enough is enough! 

Listen to this yeah, i got 1 Easter egg and we had 21 people? WONDERFUL. Theres no fun in Easter without Easter eggs, i wouldn't eat them but common at least they'll be there. 

I'am just happy that Christmas is soooo far away haha 

 

APRIL FOOLS BABY!

Today i tricked my boyfriend, i told him i was pregnant! he fell for it, luckily for him he behaved like a man! I am so happy that i found a man that will stick by me what ever the weather, he cares for me and he makes me feel special. Being pregnant is not easy, all of the sudden finding out that your life is going to change like that but he took it like a man, he said that we could figure it out together and see what would happen next.

That is what i love you for Eli!

Streets Of London!